A friend in need

You do this awkward touch with fingers to tell me my face is dirty, it’s pretty embarrassing but I do just the same thing, we cozily admit, we just covered each other’s butt. I hate to say you want everything I have and I want to smell and own your bottle of perfume. I want your messed up hair, and girl you can’t get your touchy hands out of my closet. You want my whispering voice just as much as I want your base, giggles moaned in every vowel, and how everything wraps up in my mind telling me I love you.

You say you hate me in person, you make me think I am such a bore. You are my worst lecturer and I know I really am to you too. It’s too much how you excite me and have all these mind blowing ideas in your cunning words that convince me trying one or two of them won’t hurt at all. You tell me this is the last time we collect that memory in the jar, we keep out of reach, but we go back to fill up, sometimes in tears and rarely in golden and joyful smiles and always in lessons we greedily keep so close to our hearts.

Oddly entertaining in all your squeaky sounds of a 3-year-old you jump up and down, pleading, if we don’t do this when we’re young what are we going to ever tell our kids were the major adventures we had? You transition me into a crazy journalist left to unveil stories, and inner thoughts of fantasies and I take liberty to add a few juicy tales to “our” ideas now. We hike through all of them, Lord knows I try to hide them from my self-image, but you friend, unlock my right to freedom.

Strangers, boyfriends, drama and the world, happen. I lose you. Ruthless truths take over. Thrills I don’t understand in their version, nightmares of a scary future happen. My new friends in need don’t remind me of the other time we owned the stars and the moon, how we dreamt of life at Pluto or Mars and made ourselves reach there recklessly in no aircraft and didn’t stop from there, and how about hell together? I dropped out of the lake of ideas the time I gave your awkward touch a look of disgust, in the eyes of a few fellas, who don’t understand the silence and pauses I give them when I am aching.

I am haunted, your perfume is a scent of a rainbow in my never ending mess. Yeah, cause maybe there in my closet you want me just as much. A tee shirt, a pink dress would pull me in closer to you just as much as I would with no utter of a word. You get it, you get in my mind, you read the words on my mouth when you wear my lipstick, the way I tell you I am sorry. I can’t cry but it helps me think more when I see you in the seasons I don’t want to be seen.

A friend in need? We don’t know how much we need or don’t need but I want to tell you, that if we can’t offer it to each other how others do, I really want to live on Mars with you now. I need that touch every now and then. I need to give shots at whatever you wanna lecture me about, I will be excitedly bored but, you remind me my innocence matches your winning idea.  Your predictable unpredictability, a natural way I understood us dancing every day is impossible, and just like that, when we get drowned in the perfection disease out there, I need you to inject me with your rather harmless sickness of your ugly beauty.

I don’t need a heartache to try out the deadly and never-heard-of recipes and remedies you sprinkle to my life, I need to try them right here, right now and forever. I need to feel laughter and sorrow, to get them married the way me and you can’t live without each and both of them. I need your magic to push me to see light when our numbered days are not yet numberless. A friend in need, is a friend indeed. And indeed, I have a nervous ball knotted in my belly, it just doesn’t feel right, if I don’t find you, when I need you that much.


The HandPain


Back to School

If I had to go back to school and master a subject, it would be Geography. I didn’t pretty much care to know how the earth is formed and every other boring things like lakes and rivers all over the world. But now that I understand how things work, unfold and all create a beauty never seen before, I want to take a break from my life and go back to school to master Geography. There is nothing more beautiful than art of the earth, its mountains and valleys and everything that comes in between them. It’s pretty much how we roll too. Painful, happy, sophisticated events from and transform us to the best version we were created to become.


Seven principles of an eagle.


Principle 1

Eagles fly at high altitude and not with sparrows or other small birds. No other bird can get to the height of the eagle. Stay away from sparrows and ravens. Eagles fly with Eagles.

Principle 2

Eagles have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an eagle sights his prey, he narrows his focus on it and set out to get it. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus until he grabs it.

Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

Principle 3

Eagles do not eat dead things. They feed only on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals, but eagles will not. Be careful with what you feed your eyes and ears with, especially in movies and on TV. Steer clear of outdated and old information. Always do your research well.

Principle 4

Eagles love the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the storm’s wind to lift himself higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagles use the raging storm to lift himself above the clouds. This gives the eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees.

We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Principle 5

The eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursuing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases it. He has to catch it before it falls to the ground. He then brings it back to the female eagle.

The female eagle grabs the twig and flies higher altitude and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle is assured that the male has mastered the art of catching the twig which shows commitment. Then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her.

Whether in private life or business one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

Principle 6

When ready to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place very high on a cliff where no predators can reach. The male flies to earth and picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the cliff, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. He flies back to earth and picks thorns laying them on top of the twigs. . He flies back to earth and picks soft grass to cover the thorns. When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, lays them on the nest; runs back to get grass lays it on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest. The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders, both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family. She lays the eggs and protects them; he builds the nest and hunts. During the time of training young ones to fly, the mother eagle throws the eaglets out of the nest. Because they are scared, they jump into the nest again.

Next, she throws them out and then takes off the soft layers of the nest, leaving the thorns bare. When the scared eaglets again jump into the nest, they are pricked by thorns. Shrieking and bleeding they jump out again this time wondering why the mother and father who love them so much are torturing them. Next, mother eagle pushes them off the cliff into the air. As they shriek in fear, father eagle flies out and catches them up on his back before they fall and brings them back to the cliff. This goes on for some time until they start flapping their wings. They get excited at this newfound knowledge that they can fly.

The preparation of the nest teaches us to prepare for changes; the preparation for the family teaches us that active participation of both partners leads to success. The being pricked by thorns tells us that sometimes being too comfortable where we are may result into our not experiencing life, not progressing and not learning at all. The thorns of life come to teach us that we need to grow, get out of the nest and live on. We may not know it but the seemingly comfortable and safe haven may have thorns.

The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us.

Principle 7

When an eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out.

We occasionally need to shed off old habits and items that burden us without adding to our lives.




All about The HandPain Blog

You ever had a time in your life things get out of hand or get so exciting, makes you lose your mind or wows every bit of you and all you think about is want to share it with someone? Well, I personally go through that at least everyday.

The HandPain Blog is a blog made to relieve you and me, to relate with you and excite you in a way. I wanted to reach out to everyone with my writing gift and put a smile on your face. I dream of being a great blogger in the hall of a bunch of them. Please make some noise for me, share with your friends, because my hands do the thinking, the best thing I know how to do is write.

It is that rush in my hands and mind to share that inspired me to create The HandPain and hopefully this pain will be a great source of inspiration, laughter and color to many lives.

Visit as many times as you can, and I will post as much as I can, Leave a comment and I will get back at you.



oh messy heart, breathe, but…..

Will those cracks in my heart be loved as it is with dimples?

Will they be looked at and oh they are so cute?

Will the unfinished edges be seen as art?

Will they be admired and oh, this needs only a faint red?

Will the holes be looked through as a beauty in the making?

or will they be touched and oh, I wanna make this whole again?

Will the deep rot in the wound be trashed out as garbage?

Will it be strong scent enough to crash down every other scent and oh, you have been patient enough dear?

Will the grey hair on this heart be seen as just a lie to hide away from the sparkle of young love and dreams?

Will it be seen as tint and oh, where the tint remover at?

Will the plain and untouched rim and soles be painted as new beginning?

Will they be polished and oh, what a beautiful start?

Will the marks be healed or unhealed enough to remind you I have seen the world before?

Will they be soft enough to touch and oh, what a memory so long gone?

Will the chains be rusty and bristle for you to break the bondage?

Will you hold them with a lion’s rage and oh, fly away little bird, the wait is over?

Will the leaking drops be mellifluous enough to remind you of a long lost and abandoned cry?

Will you listen to it and oh, what if I splash color to this sad, blurry black and white voice?

Will the little sound of sobs bring you rest and remind you that happiness is not always through smiles,

and that sometimes a heart will make a quiet shout and that will be the happiest moment in truth of its entire existence?

Will you smile back and laugh enough to the funny bits of laughter and oh, don’t get any louder, let me feel where the hurt is?

Will the beat-skipping of my heart on a Déjà vu be dramatic enough to your senses and make you protect it even more?

Will you see the panic and oh, can we have a replay?

Will you let shame and pain consume it with vigor, or will you loosen the tight grip, endlessly to watch it end. Will you love me enough to let me be whole without breaking more, will my beauty at heart be pure mess enough to grow old with?

The HandPain