My Self Image, My Category.

There is a common expression that says,” what do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror every morning? Maybe some of you did believe and try to experiment it, and for a long time I feared that exercise. Because I knew that once my mirror agrees with my heart, I’ll never run away from that haunting torture of an image of what a wonder I could be looking at.

I knew, I wasn’t looking to find out, I knew exactly what I was born to do. I knew the category of people, women and girls I would look at if I looked in the mirror. But that also, didn’t mean I was not going to imagine and dream on even if I don’t look in the mirror. 

When we are all filling out forms, nationality and gender are two things we can’t discuss that we are sure of. It is clear, you know it even if they asked you sleeping, you know it that you are from Rwanda or Canada. You are female or male. Simple. That is how sure I was about my category, what my mirror would show me wouldn’t be news to me. 

When I finally took the courage to look in the mirror this time not my eyebrows, and eye liner… I saw myself in the range of women who speak to souls from age 8; their words of intelligence, they spend a lot of time reading, analyzing, loving, dreaming, adoring, criticizing and observing with a sharp eye that when it’s time for them to speak, you better be silent. Digest word by word, take it in, and it sticks to your memory for life.  I saw Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Eleanor Roosevelt, but I also saw Sharon Kalimba. 

I started thinking of putting it to reality, stopped imagining that it was a dream, I decided it is a mirror that points out exactly what is sees. It doesn’t create. I said to myself that later may become never, I started putting myself in the position of my category. Life became a reality, worth living, no fear to be haunted living a life I knew deeply wasn’t meant for me. 

I don’t know if you have tried this exercise, just like me I didn’t even believe in it. Maybe you don’t know this category yet. But take a chance, look for as long as you want. Train if need be, study if you have to, travel, risk, adventure until what is in the mirror reflects what is in your heart…you’ll set off to a journey that adds meaning to your life, but above all, it puts a stop to imagining and wishing, you simply put into reality. It is so much simpler to draw what you see. Choose your category, draw your face on it. And whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right

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